marital woes sms

• Meaning of Marriage for a woman: Sacrificing admiration of many men for the criticism of one man!

• Mummy: Beta kyun ro rahe ho? Beta: Papa ne mujhe kissi nahi di. Mummy: Beta, aap ne papa ko tables nahi sunaye honge. Beta: Kaam wali ko kaun se tables aate hein.

• Husband: Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Bada Faayda Hua Hai. Wife: Woh Kya? Husband: Mujhe Mere Gunaaho ki Saza Jeete-Jee Hi Mil Gayi!

• Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either ur money or life... The wives want both!

• A man is the head of the family and the wife is the neck. The neck turns the head exactly the way it wants.

• A boy on Date With Gal in BMW. Jaan ! Maine tumse ek baat chupaai hai ki I'm already married. Girl: Oh GOD! Tumne To dara he dia, main Samjhi ye Car tumhari nahi.

• Men who don’t understand women at all, by & large, fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

• Excellence is an option that is renewable.

• Wife to her friend: My hubby bought me a Mood ring the other day. When I'm in a gud mood, it turns Green & when Im in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead!

• Difference between GF & Wife? GF-Beauty, Wf-Duty GF-Pension, Wf- Tension, GF-Yummy, Wf-Vehmi, GF-Cool, Wf-Fool, GF-Tutti-Fruity, Wf-Kismat Futi GF-Fresh Cake, Wf-Earthquake • Wats the diff between Complete & Finished? If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished. • So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow and sure! • Friend: How’s ur sex life? Man: As usual, Monday to Friday. Friend: What about the weekends? Man: Weekends? Oh! That time I'm at home, relaxing with my wife ! • Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles. • While in bed after few years of marriage, husband and wife's HIPS meet each other more often than LIPS.... • True friends stand behind u during ur bad times. Do u want a proof? Check out your marriage album. U’ll find that all ur friends standing behind U • Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes. 2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons! • Every Man needs a Beautiful wife, intelligent wife, caring wife, loving wife, sexy wife, adjusting & cooperative wife, but it’s sad that law allows only one wife. • A man's silence can break a woman's heart into a thousand pieces while a woman's silence can give a man a thousand moments of peace! • Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me? Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount. • If you never want to see a man again, say: I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children - they leave skid marks. • They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it's true. As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank. • Yeah, my husband and I just split up. I finally faced the fact that we're incompatible. I'm a Virgo and he's an a@@hole. • Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home& devil in bed. But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home& economist in Bed. • Q: Why do women live longer than men? A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does! • Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u. After marriage: Roses are dead, I’m blue. U r my headache, one day I’ll kill u. • Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that. • Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come. • Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins! • Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes. • It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered. • It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives ! • A man who surrenders when he's wrong, is Honest. A man who surrenders when not Sure, is Wise. A man who surrenders even if he's Right, is a Husband. • If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day • Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish. • There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage • Aadmi shaadi kyon karta hai? Takee vo marne ke baad agar Swarg jaye to achcha feel kare aur agar Nark jaye to homely feel kare... • Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ? To tell each other affectionately... Sweetheart U R Dead ! • Different Phases of a man: After engagement: Superman After Marriage: Gentleman After 10 years: Watchman After 20 years: Doberman • There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it