• Most of my friends are normal, sane, cultured, decent, intellectual & well-behaved persons... Just wanna thank you for breaking the monotony! |
• Police arrestd a drunkard & askd: Where r u goin?
Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnite?
Man: My wife... • Grammar Teacher: Rahul sharaab Nahin Peeta Hai. Is sentence mein Rahul kya hai?
Pappu: Madam! Rahul chutiya hai... | • Valentine special: Dunyia wich reh k rangaa wich kho jao.. Kise nu apna bana lao ya kise da ho jao.. Je kuchh vi ni hunda taan....Chakko Rajaai te so jao. | • I Love You is 8 letters long. Then again, so is bullshit. | • Q: Which type of Women wear Revealing Clothes?
A: Those who don't have Confidence in the Imaginative powers of Men! | • Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business?
Student: Father-in-Law! | • Agar aap chahte hain k apke face pe dhool-mitii na lage to Roz subah lagaiye Asian Paints ka Apex Ultima jo dhool-mitti ko tikne na de! | • What’s the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony? | • Alcohol contain female hormones. Proof: Men gain weight, talk unnecessarily, become extra emotional & stupid, start fighting without any reason. | • Advice of dentist. "Treat ur girl friend like a toothbrush. Don't let any body else use it, and get a new one every three months. | • Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.
Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya! • What building has the most stories?
The Library. | • A teenage boy to his father: Here's my report card and a list I've compiled of entrepreneurs who never finished their High School. | • Asmaan mai tum ho, samundar mai tum ho, zamin pe tum, hawa mai tum, jahan b dekho tum hi tum ho. DOMEX wali aunty thik kehti thi KITANU har jagah hote hain. | • Girl announced her engagement to her father.
Father: Does this fellow has any money?
Girl: Oh! Dad, U men r all alike, thats exactly what he asked me about u! | • Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends! | • If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life! | • Education is incomplete without 5 B's
B - Bikes
B - Beers
B - Babes
B - Bunks and the most important
B - Backlogs! | • Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did. | • Why did Saddam Hussein attack Kuwait?
He had an Arabic baby-sitter, who always used to say 'Keep Quwait, Keep Quwait'. | • Tension happens in brain and love is felt in heart. Then why do people get heart attack when they are tensed and why people get mad when they are in love? • Only once in your life u'll get a right person with whom u'll get married, so, till than keep enjoying with the wrong Ones! | • Gud Morning! Aap ye soch rahe honge ki Raat ko Gud Morning kaise?
Simple! Phone mera, Paise mere, Msg mera, toh marzi bhi meri! Jo marzi aayega wo bhejunga. | • Elephant falls in Luv with Ant, but Ant's parents were against their marriage. Guess why?
They gave a Solid Reason: Kehnde Munde de dand Bahar ne. | • Pappu: Dad, mein biwi nu sms kita ki main Raat nu aunga, ghar aaya te kisi hor de nal suti si.
Dad: Puttar galti mobile company di aa, jede time nal sms nahi bhejde! | • Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration! | • Janwaran di party chal rahi cee Chua 4 peg la ke set cee.
Billi: J ajj party na hundi ta mai tenu ajj kha jandi.
Chua: Ja tur ja saliye, loki kehan ge khadi piti wich janani kut diti. | • I pray to God that any person who tries to fuck ur happiness, may his ass begin to itch & his hand grow shorter that he can't reach his ass to scratch. | • Ek Tapori ki wife: Sunte ho ji, Apne chinku ne aaj pehla aadha shabd bola.
Tapori: Achcha, Kya bola ?
Wife: Behan... | • He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim. They said, he who never lived, cannot die! | • Ek samay ki bat hai, Mata Lakshmi ji ka ULLU unse rooth gaya aur bola, 'Apki sab puja karte hain, mujhe koi nahin puchhta'
Lakshmi ji boli: Ab se har sal meri puja se 8-10 din pehle tumhari puja hogi. Us din Ullu puje jayenge.
Tabhi se Diwali k pehle us din ko KARWA CHAUTH keh kar manaya jata hai! • 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of accidentsarer due to driving without drinking! Piyo Sar Utha Ke! | • How 2 catch squirrels?
It's simple. Just climb a tree & sit, Squirrels will come in search of U... U know Y? Coz They Love NUTS! | • Keeping a place for me in ur heart is ok, but keeping a place for me in your mind mite be dangerous coz people say... I'm MIND BLOWING. | • My Marriage is Fixed Surprisd?
Dekho free di party da sun k kivein khush hunde ne. | • Banta: How do you say Topless in Urdu?
Santa: KHULE AAM... | • The successful marriage depends on one simple equation: Wife having Beauty Secrets and husband having Secret Beauties. | • There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job, Good food, Good sleep & Good _ UCK. Whatever u are thinking... is right. Good Day. | • Tum sab dost meri zindagi ho, aur aur aur aur aur Lahnat hai aisi zindagi pe! | • True relatives always stand behind u during bad times. Check ur marriage album. All ur relatives were standing behind u! | • Commerce joke: Do u know y in a couple's photo man is on the right side & woman on the left?
Because as per balance sheet liabilities are on left side and assets on right! |
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